Have you ever experienced the agonizing and helpless feeling of watching a loved one die without being able to stop it? I know almost all of us have lost a parent, grandparent, family member or friend. Words often cannot describe the pain at watching someone we love gradually slip away and lose their strength.
In the midst of all these feelings, we can find a way to connect and appreciate the time we have left with them. We can deeply long for the time we had with them when they were strong, fit, and healthy. But, we can still appreciate the time we have with them as they are. Because, before long, we will be wishing we had this time, these moments, again.
Here are some ways to enjoy the final days with our loved ones:
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Serve them – Bring them their favorite foods, toiletries, books, magazines. Bring them their medicine, help with laundry or household chores that they may no longer be able to do.
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Use Physical touch – Wash and brush their hair, use aromatherapy, wash their feet and face.
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Sit with them – Just your presence can mean so much to them and to you. Remember these are final moments. Enjoy them while you can.
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Talk to them – What is something you want to say to them? Say what you need to say while you can. Prevent later regrets. Let them know how much they mean to you and the impact they have made on your life.
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Treat them – Bring them a gift, their favorite milkshake, or a nice cozy blanket.
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Have fun with them – Laugh, share old stories, help them smile and enjoy their final days!
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Take care of yourself! – Just like putting the oxygen mask on yourself before your children on an airplane, you need to take care of yourself in order to have the fuel to take care of the person you love. Go for walks, take warm baths, do simple things you love too!
Keep in mind the story of The Velveteen Rabbit:
“He said, You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
Look at them and know, in these final hours, they are as beautiful as they have ever been.
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